Priceless

When I fly I love to browse through the SkyMall catalogue. It lists all the true applications of scientific progress! Here is a sample of such inventions the world just can't live without:

Fish Finder Watch This sonar sensor attaches to your wrist and doubles as a watch. It operates in a 75' remote radius, transmitting views of fish to the LCD display. The sensor reads depth to 120' with a wide 90° sonar beam. Includes display backlighting. Remote sensor runs 500 continuous hours, and automatically shuts off after removal from water. With instruction manual, carrying case and remote sensor. Includes lithium watch battery. Sensor is ABS plastic.
Remote Control Golf Ball Detailed to resemble a real golf ball, it zigs and zags at a touch of the remote control, allowing you to fool golf partners as they watch putts drift wide of the cup at your command. The joystick on the discrete remote control lets you direct the ball within a 100' range. The ball can operate on three different, selectable frequencies, allowing you to race two at a time.
Excuse Box 'Hey, I gotta call you back later...' Everybody gets those annoying phone calls. The kind where you sigh heavily, roll your eyes, and make those annoying "blah-dee-blah" hand gestures like some demented muppet that won't shut up... Believe me, we get those calls, too. We feel your pain. Luckily, we have an awesome solution. The Excuse Box is no ordinary key tag. Its onboard memory holds 10 full minutes of environmental effects designed specifically to befuddle your annoying caller. Click on the links below, and imagine yourself gleefully escaping from an otherwise awkward and potentially trouble-filled phone call.
USB Missile Launcher The USB Missile Launcher is the ultimate deterrent against those annoying people who lurk around your desk because they've nothing better to do. The Launcher holds three foam missiles, and Missile Command is located on your desktop (which is a great deal more convenient than having it buried under Cheyanne Mountain in Colorado - but that's Norad for you). You simply use your mouse to control the launcher which rotates and tilts as you zero in on your victim, that, despite being deeply childish, is immensely satisfying. The Missile Launcher fires its three foam missiles sequentially as you hit the 'Fire' button, and though collateral damage is minimal, the fun factor is exceedingly high. We just love USB toys.
StealthSwitch Procrastinate At The Office With Confidence! [...] The Stealth Switch is the answer. Quickly install the software and plug the hidden foot switch in (it goes either between the keyboard and your computer, or just into an available USB port) and you are safe. It hides in the shadows and just a light tap of your toes will let it work its magic. Based on your preferences, it can hide the current window, hide all windows, or hide all windows except for specified windows. Not just minimize, mind you, but totally erase from your screen. The Stealth Switch can also mute the sound, hide the taskbar, hide the desktop icons, and password protect the restore function. When the coast is clear, another quick tap and you are ready to frag in peace.
Graphic Equalizer T-Shirt A t-shirt with a built in "graphic equalizer" panel that is sound sensitive. As the music beats, the shirt's equalizer lights up to the beat of the music. Great for concerts, raves, parties or just to impress your mates. [...] made from 100% cotton, beware of inferior shirts made with polyester. It has a fully functional EL (Electro Luminescence) panel with a battery pack and sound sensor that snuggles discretely into a pocket inside the shirt. The end result is an awesome sound sensitive music T-Shirt that commands attention.