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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Interna

I’m stuck in the hospital again, thus my silence. The brief version is that my doc got nervous I might be in for preterm delivery. Now I’m getting medication that’s supposed to mature the babies lungs, just in case. Unfortunately these meds can have the side-effect of triggering labor, so to avoid that I get more medication (called tocolytics) to prevent the contractions. That medication then doesn’t only affect the muscles it should, but most importantly also the heart muscles, ie more side-effects, these of the very unpleasant sort. And then there’s more medication against the side-effects of that medication. The result is that I feel like shit, can’t go farther than up and down the corridor since I’m tied to an IV-drip, and my butt hurts from the injections. But otherwise we’re all fine. Below is a recent bump-photo from a surprisingly warm and sunny November weekend.



And if you think I was actually sleeping, just right of the photo, there's a table (you can see one edge) with a pile of papers on it...

38 comments:

  1. Hi Bee,

    sorry to hear about your medication problems and the problems of your babies. Hope all of you feel better soon.

    Best, Kay

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  2. Germany looks a lot like America, with cooler architecture. Rest well.

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  3. Hi Bee,

    By what I read this has the delivery of the babies as to be considered only being a matter of days and so I until then I will have held in my thoughts all as going well. However your post does lead me to question your care givers reasoning respective of their choice of injection sight, considering they also wish that you get some rest; that is as revealed in your profile photo you having few options respective of sleeping positions:-)

    My thoughts also extend to Stefan, resultant of being reminded as to how nervous and concerned I was when in his place (although admittedly without the added complexities) and yet can assure him that all will be discovered to have been well worth it. I then am looking forward to reading the post where you announce that we now have two more wonderful people added to the world. What I’m also confident of is it will give new perspective and meaning to the reporting of “events on the world lines of two theoretical physicists, from the horizon to timelike infinity.”

    Best,

    Phil

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  4. Hi Kay, Steven,

    Thanks :-)

    Hi Phil,

    We certainly hope I'll make it some weeks longer. As I said, the docs are just a little nervous and want to be on the save side. I hope they'll let me go back home after the treatment to mature the lungs is through. Best,

    B.

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  5. Hi Bee,


    It’s good to hear that the measures being taken are considered simply precautionary, as the info you provided indicating this acceleration of pulmonary efficiency needing only a few days to have it made effective. So I’m with you as hoping them after not having further reason to keep you from returning home. That being how could I not empathize with anyone rather preferring being in an environment where one doesn’t have to watch out for their butt :-)

    Best,


    Phil

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  6. Central function and sidebands.

    When Delta and Epsilon are rebelious teenagers drinking their coffee-to-go in situ and threatening to major in Medieval Lithuanian poetry... Praamžimas, Tatar sauce, the noble Daugava... lay a major pictorial guilt trip on them. They invalidated perturbation treatments.

    Go for the observables.

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  7. I wonder if the babies would like some soft music? Maybe head phones on the belly since it is the hospital?:)

    Best,

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  8. Perhaps it is superstitious, more for my own comfort than anyone else’s, but I fancy that I can wish someone well at a distance and it has effect. For example, if the speaker is nervous, I can project a sense of calm from my seat in the audience and they will feel it.
    Anyway, I am curious, did you feel a particular rush of well-being, let’s see… it would have been about half past two o’clock your time?

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  9. Best to you Bee, both you and the twins. I'm keeping good thoughts for all of you, including Stefan. Strictly speaking keeping good thoughts, prayers etc, hasn't been proven in the physics literature to be a sound theory. However, my intuition and some previous experience says it can't be completely counted out.

    Eric Habegger

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  10. Hi Don,

    Sure, you can wish somebody well from a distance, you just did with your comment :-) Best,

    B.

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  11. Hey Sabine,

    It`s great to see everything is taken care off so well. Don`t worry about the papers on the table - they aren`t alive and kicking !

    Denis.

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  12. My best wishes for a fast recovery and an easy pregnancy/delivery Bee...

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  13. Have a rest, stop thinking about the universe for a while ;)
    Best wishes

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  14. Hi Bee,

    I really hope you get better and your path towards motherhood gets easier from now on.

    Take care,
    Lurking

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  15. Hi Bee,

    I hope everything gets better soon. And it seems like the time is coming... What are the expectations? A few weeks?

    Take care,
    Christine

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  16. Hi Christine,

    They want to make sure I do at least make it till week 34, which is early December. They also told me they don't want me to carry out longer than 36 weeks. Apparently the risk on my side increases considerably after that while there's pretty much no risk for the babies at that point. So we're talking 2-4 weeks hospital, delivery between early December and Christmas. Best,

    B.

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  17. Two full-year income tax deductions after one month, two birthdays+Christmas perpetual savings, and they start school a year early. Behold the power of boundary conditions!

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  18. Hi Bee,

    You twitted:

    (...) What's become of me? (...)

    It's simple, so get used to it! When you become a mother, the list of priorities in order of importance become:

    #1 baby
    #2 baby
    #3 baby
    #4 baby
    #5 baby
    ...
    #?? mother

    followed only by "father", who ends up even lower in the list! :)

    But while you are pregnant, you are on the top of priorities too, don't worry. Let the babies listen to the music and relax...

    Best,
    Christine

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  21. ... followed only by "father", who ends up even lower in the list! :)

    I can experimentally verify in empirical fashion that unfortunately Christine is quite correct. My wife always says she feels fortunate to be married to a man who understands this.

    I said I understand it. I didn't say I like it. ;-)

    I send good vibrations as well across the grand oceans of our waviverse to you and Eppy and Delta, Bee, even though I think doing do has zero effect, thanks to decoherence. But bets must be hedged even into the surreal number range, prayer helps if noone else the one who prays via serenity, and what the hell, who really knows?

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  22. Dear Arun,

    Thanks for the link. I had seen that, but didn't find it particularly witty. Best,

    B.

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  23. Hi Bee,

    Not so much as to disagree with Christine or Steven about parenthood changing your life, as surely it will, yet only to remind that it further aids to have realized ones depth of potential, rather than something determining its limits. That is I find it unfortunate many think only as life coming down to not being able to have ones cake and eating it, yet that’s only if one considers choice in terms of exclusion, rather than an expansion of inclusion. My own experience respective to becoming a parent is we have as much or more to benefit from our children as they do from us. That’s rather than finding my children adding to the burden of life they actually serve as being both an expansion and continuance of it; so much in fact I only find sorrow for those that never had children, whether it be resultant of choice or circumstance.

    Best,

    Phil

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  24. Phil is correct of course! That's the way I see it too, despite my previous comment (meant more as a joke, although having some truth to it as well...).

    That’s rather than finding my children adding to the burden of life they actually serve as being both an expansion and continuance of it; so much in fact I only find sorrow for those that never had children, whether it be resultant of choice or circumstance.


    Very, very true!

    Best,
    Christine

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  25. Hi Christine,

    In as long since having discovered you being a mother and a good one at that, this was the one time I was almost as certain we would agree as Descartes was as certain of his first and only unshakeable premise. Of course that’s as being they each are deductively connected, as ‘I think, therefore I am, and thus wish being not just be able to have my thoughts to grow, yet also to continue’. And as such it should be noted that being in part requires becoming, which can only be expressed in terms of our hopes rather than our certainties.

    “But this is certain, and an opinion commonly received among theologians, that the action by which he now sustains it is the same with that by which he originally created it; so that even although he had from the beginning given it no other form than that of chaos, provided only he had established certain laws of nature, and had lent it his concurrence to enable it to act as it is wont to do, it may be believed, without discredit to the miracle of creation, that, in this way alone, things purely material might, in course of time, have become such as we observe them at present; and their nature is much more easily conceived when they are beheld coming in this manner gradually into existence, than when they are only considered as produced at once in a finished and perfect state.”

    - René Descartes - Discourse on The Method: of Rightly Conducting The Reason, and Seeking Truth in the Sciences (1637)

    Best,

    Phil

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  26. Hi, Phil, you wrote
    rather than finding my children adding to the burden of life they actually serve as being both an expansion and continuance of it; so much in fact I only find sorrow for those that never had children, whether it be resultant of choice or circumstance.

    Sorrow?! My one brother never married or had kids, and all he has is $150,000 in the bank and a $200,000 line of available credit, all of which he will tap into to start his own business (which will then become his first child). Yeah, I feel real sorry for him. And Lisi, too. Surfin' in Maui, damn that's harsh. Well, it's a dirty job but somebody has to do it, right? :-)

    I jest of course. I may be poor as dirt, and my children's needs may have put me there, but in truth they were are and will continue to be worth every penny, so I totally agree with your sentiment. My brother's life has been based on fear mostly, the fear of losing $$$. You can't get divorced if you don't get married and your children won't hurt you if you don't have any. But that's negative thinking, planning your life predicated on disaster, and not my way of thinking at all. But hey, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, right Sly Stone?

    Hi Christine,

    You weren't joking but speaking truth, I came to the same conclusion a long time ago. It's not a bad thing though, it's the biological imperative applied on a larger social scale rather than an individual one. We as a species have survived because our ancestors figured out priorities a long ago. First and foremost is the care and feeding of children. Without children, the species goes away. Second in importance are the care and feeding of mothers, because even in an "enlightened" society gender-wise, guess which gender is genetically hard-wired to care most of and about the little ones? The women of course, and the one or two male scholars/artists in the tribe armed with a spear to protect the women, elderly, and children while the alpha and beta males go into the woods to hunt the wild boar. They may not catch anything (nothing is certain said Heisenberg) so the tribe won't each meat tonight, but they will eat something, thanks to the nuts and berries the stay-at-homes gathered during the day, with the occasional emergency taking a bit of time away, say when granny falls into a ditch.

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  27. Hi Phil,

    Thanks for the quote!

    Hi Steven,

    Well, I am not sure the word "sorrow" reflects exactly my feelings too, although we certainly must agree with Phil on his point, right? :)

    Yes, maybe there are some eventual feelings of... envy?? Of that time when *we* were our *own* priorities...?? But, as you say... children actually free ourselves from that kind of world, and opens a door for a new world of much more value.

    I was definitely a different person before becoming a mother and that makes me wonder about people who cannot or do not want to have children -- they will never change in *that* very fundamental way, it is like being incomplete. It is a new world. A parallel can be drawn: imagine what is lost for a person who cannot read. Some dimension is lost. Something that only experiencing it makes you understand what is being lost without it.

    When I became an aunt (before being a mother), it was a great experience and I thought I could imagine myself being a mother, how I would behave and feel. I was wrong. Nothing could make me prepare for the actual experience.

    I know, however, that some parents do not feel that way. Some parents see the change but not as deeply as I suppose -- the change comes more like a change in the increase of work. In my case, the difference between before and after was really very, very deep.

    I think I was much like Sabine before. I had plenty of time to do all that I wanted to do: basically study and research. It was all *me*. But then, becoming a mother, priorities have changed drastically and that made me a stronger person, I guess. I was much unaware of many things, they didn't belong to my life, then all changed. Feelings I didn't have before gradually became part of me.

    Well... and then I finally learned to cook. ;)

    Best,
    Christine

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  30. Hi Steven,

    I prefer to look at things in terms of potentials. As for instance three friends, one being a pessimist, another an optimist, with the last being an engineer, decide to go to a pub. Upon their arrival each order a of glass beer and when the bartender returns with their order the beer is found to be filled half way to the top of each glass. The pessimist complains “this glass is half empty” while the optimist gleefully proclaims “this glass is half full”, with the engineer observing “this glass was designed twice as large as it needed to be”. Of course it must be admitted all as being correct and yet only the optimist is found able to be happy, as only they having realized the importance of potential’s existence, as to being necessary in having understood both the utility and purpose of reality:-)

    Best,

    Phil

    P.S. It also helps to understand potential in realizing perhaps it might allow for one finally getting things right:-)

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  31. I have been reading this blog for a couple of years now, and have experienced Sabine as a kind person who explains fairly complicated issues with great care and patience.I am certain she is going to be a fantastic mum.The pains and tribulations of the past and coming weeks will be well worth it - even if that`s not likely to sound plausible right now.

    Any progress on the naming front - or is it going to be Delta Hossenfelder and Epsilon Sherer ?

    Best,

    Denis

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  32. Hi Denis,

    Thanks for the kind words. I'm not sure though explaining complicated issues with great care will come in particularly handy when dealing with a screaming baby ;-) Sure, we have thought about names, but it's a big secret :-) Best,

    B.

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  33. I know, Sabine. Look at it this way : you never went to university to learn how to be a daughter or a spouse. And in this instance, you don`t have a theory of motherhood. But your babies don`t know what to expect either. Pretty soon you`re going to meet, and you`ll learn to live together. Taking care of each other. One minute at a time. This happens to every mother and every father in the universe/??multiverse/ ahh... reality :-))

    And... they say it`s beautiful !

    Best,

    Denis.

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  34. Hi Bee,

    Nice to know that you are back home. All you have to do now is to rest as much as you can, something you already was trying to do... Hopefully, no more injections and hospital stress... except of course for procedures eventually needed in delivery. Babies will soon be born!

    Best,
    Christine

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  35. Best wishes and I hope the season can be happy overall for you both, with a wonderful resolution of your sublime status.

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  36. Hi Sabine,

    When are the babies coming??? Christmas??? :)

    Best,
    Christine

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  37. Hi Christine,

    Don't know... but it won't be much longer now. Best,

    B.

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